Reason For My Smile Larry Stylinson
by Cyoneh
Summary: A gay nerd and a no lifer. Yeah, that's me. Teacher call me perfect, bullies call me Gay Lord, and I call myself a mess. A fucked up mess. I never wanted people to know I was gay. I never wanted to be THE nerd. I never wanted to hate myself. But most of all; I never wanted to fall in love with my teacher; Mr. Tomlinson.
1. Chapter 1

How can anyone be that perfect? His blue eyes sparkled, searching the crowd of students. I tried to catch his gaze, and I managed. Big mistake. I looked down, begging silently that he didn't see my reaction. I heard people laughing and talking, not giving a fuck about the lesson. I wish I could, I really do. I mean, I'm a straight A+ student, but this teacher, he made it so hard to understand.

"Mr. Styles." _Fuck._I looked up, staring into his perfect eyes.

"Class ended five minutes ago, you're dismissed." I looked around the room, only to see that it was only me and the teacher in the room. I quickly gathered my books and stood up, only to lose balance and fall to the ground. The teacher looked down at me, trying not to laugh. I didn't even bother to try to stand up. I'd already messed up. So I just sat there, looking up at his fantastic body. "It's okay. You can laugh." And with that the teacher smiled, but instead of laughing, he gave me a helping hand and picked up my books. "I'm not going to laugh. I know how it feels like to be bullied." My face dropped to the ground as I felt tears pressing. I tried to hide it, but the teacher was already wrapping his arms around me. I pulled him closer and felt my tears soaking into his shirt.

"Mr. Styles." the teacher said after a long pause, still having his arms wrapped around me. "I may be wrong, but it seems as you're not understanding my tasks in class." _Just because you're goddamn perfect. _I cleaned my through. "I can't really concentrate." _Your eyes take all my attention. _He pulled away from the hug and looked down at me. "I'm not really supposed to be tutoring student, but you really look like you need it." I couldn't do anything about the smile that crossed my face as my cheeks turned red. I had to think quickly of a way not to expose myself. "You think I actually can succeed?" _Nice one, Harry. _"Of course I do. So you would like to try? None of the other teachers have to know about your struggling in school." _Obviously. I don't fail in the other subjects. _"I'd like that." I started walking the door with all my books in my hand. "I'll talk to you in English tomorrow." The teacher smiled at me as I stopped in the doorway.

"Thank you, Mr. Tomlinson."


	2. Chapter 2

I walked towards the exit with my hoodie pulled good over my head and my bag on my shoulder. I tried to hide the smile I had on my face, but it wasn't the easiest thing.

"Oh look! It's gay lord!" I heard Liam, the schools most popular boy yell at me. I kept on walking, hoping they didn't want to beat me up today. "Liam, is that a smile on his face?" Niall. He seemed so innocent, but he was the worst. He was the one beating them up, on Liams command of course. "Why don't we remove that smirk, eh?" Zayn's voice was shaky, but confident. Everyone were actually really surprised when Liam let him join his group.

"Liam, I really don't want to fight today. Can you just please do it tomorrow?" I'd stopped and my eyes were focusing on the ground. I heard footsteps walking closer and closer. "You think we want to punch you, gay lord?" Liam's innocent fake voice filled the air. I knew I was screwed. "Niall." That was all Liam had to say before I felt a kick in my back and I fell to the ground.

"I've told you not to disrespect us!" I felt Zayn pull me by the hoodie off the ground and on to my feet. Then, out of nowhere Niall punched my stomach and i felt my weight collapsing to the ground. I hated this. _Get your ass up, Harry. _I tried to stand up, but Niall quickly tackled me to the ground again.

"LIAM! ZAYN! NIALL!" A voice screamed out. I tried to open my eyes, but to terrified that it was a trick for me. I heard more and more footsteps gathering around. "This is his fault, Mr. Strangfold. He hit me first!" Liam's voice filled the whole playground that now was filled with students. "I don't believe it at all. You're all expelled for two weeks, your parents will be informed, but it's up for him" I felt the principals finger pointing at me, I didn't even have to look. "to figure out if the police will be involved or not."

"Harry! Are you alright!" I still had my eyes closed, but I knew Mr. Tomlinson was the one who pushed students away, just to get over to me. _Open your eyes you moron. _"Harry. Please answer me." I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at Mr. Tomlinson who looked like he was about to cry. "I'm fine, Mr. Tomlinson." I tried to pull myself up, but ended up just collapsing in Mr. Tomlinson's arms. He smiled at me. "Thank God you're okay." I looked around, only to see that people had stated to walk away, and again, it was only me and the teacher.

"Mr. Tomlinson, do you mind giving me a ride home?" I looked down in embarrassment. _Are you stupid, Harry? No one asks something like that. _"I'd love to help. Come on, let me help you up." I smiled and took his hand. When I was standing I tried to get my balance while Mr. Tomlinson gathered my books, again. I smiled to myself as I looked at him. This was kind of weird, him picking up my books again. He gave me the books and I gave him a weak smile. "Thanks, Mr. Tomlinson." _Okay, I know you like saying his name, but it sounds like you're on replay. _

After I got my balance we walked towards his car and sat in. "Just sit in the passenger seat, Mr. Styles. I'm not going to bite." I smiled a little and opened the car door. "Hey, thanks for caring, Mr. Tomlinson." He smiled and looked over at me. "You know, you can call me Louis outside of the classroom." He started the car and I felt my cheeks turn red. "Well then, Louis, you can call me Harry outside of the classroom." I looked over at him and smiled. "Noted. Now, tell me about yourself, Harry." I turned my head and looked at the road and started to talk about everything, and nothing.

"Shit." Louis and I had just stopped laughing when he yelled and made me jump. I stared at him with big eyes. "What's the problem?" He started laughing a little bit. "We're at my house, I forgot to ask where you lived." I looked down and started laughing as well. "Well, let's look at those bruises and I'll take you home after that?" I nodded and opened the door. Louis gave me my bag and we walked towards the apartment. "I'm really sorry that it's messy, I don't really care about cleaning." I smiled and nodded.

_Harry. Behave. I know you're inside of Louis's home, but you have to understand that nothing will happen. _I looked around the room. He wasn't joking when he said it was messy. "I'll just get the bandage and stuff, make yourself at home." Then he ran a room I assumed was his bedroom. I looked over at my left, where the kitchen was, then over to the right, where a sofa and a flat screen was standing. _Harry, I know you're a cleaning freak. But do NOT start cle- _It was to late, Harry had already found a big garbage bag and started to fill it up with old take-out boxes. Obviously, Louis didn't make a lot of food himself. Harry smirked and continued to clean.

Not more then ten minutes later, Louis came out from his bedroom to face a scary clean apartment. "Harry, I told you to make yourself feel at home, not clean it." I looked down and felt a blush growing in my cheeks. _Harry, you really have to learn how not to blush. _Suddenly I felt Louis's hand grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards the couch. "We still have to check your bruises. Oh god, this will sound so wrong." I looked confused up at him. "I need you to take of your shirt." I looked scared at him. "I don't want you to see." I could feel Louis looking weird at me as my head fell. "Have the bullies told you you're fat?" _Ouch. _Suddenly tears were falling down my cheeks, and again Louis pulled me closer. "You're not fat, Harry. Trust me." I smiled a little. "Do you want to tell me what else your bullies tell you?" I swallowed hard before I met his eyes.

"They call me a fag."


	3. Chapter 3

"They call me a fag."

Louis's face fell and turned white. Pale I would have to say. _Harry. Move, you scared him. _I stood up and took my bag on the way before I ran towards the door. I quickly threw my shoes on and ran out the door. I looked around, actually having no clue where the fuck I was. I started walking in a direction, hoping it was the right one.

"Harry!"

I turned around, seeing Louis running after me. I quickly turned around again and started to walk faster. But he was already behind me. "Harry, please stop." His voice was begging, and I stopped, still not turning around. "Don't think I hate you, Harry. It's just that I suddenly got a lot to think about." I slowly turned around, dried my tears,I hadn't even noticed that I had started to cry. _Great Harry, this is the third time he sees you crying. Today. _"Let me just ask you one question, okay?" I silently nodded, with my eyes to the ground. "Are you gay?" The question actually hit me like a truck. I wasn't prepared for it. _Just tell him, Harry. He won't run like all others have. _"Yes."

My voice trailed of in the end. I was waiting for the slap, the cold shoulder and the bad words, but instead I got dragged into a warm and protective hug. "Hey, don't cry. I'm not going to leave you like the others have." I felt butterflies flying around in my stomach. I smiled and pulled away from Louis, but he had other plans. As I pulled away, he pulled me closer, but only for our eyes to meet and our noses to touch. It have to look incredible weird, with a student and a teacher standing in the middle of a street, staring in each other's eyes, with their lips just centimeters away from each others, but again, we didn't care.

"Hey Harry? Want to hear a secret?" I felt Louis's breath on my lips, making me shiver. "Tell me." He smiled. "I'm in love with a student, awful right? But I think you'd like him. He has beautiful green eyes, his hair is curly, but always seems perfect. He doesn't really talk a lot in English class, because he struggles with concentrating. He's an straight A+ student in all other subjects, so I guess the only distraction must be the teacher, he must be an awful one" I felt myself blushing. _Harry. He's talking about you. _"But do you want to hear the best part?" I didn't do anything but to blush even more and put a smirk on my face. Louis pulled me closer. "I think he's in love with me too." And with that, I closed the gap that was between us.

Our lips moved perfectly together, like a symphony hitting all the right notes. The only time we pulled away, was when we needed air. I felt Louis pull me closer again and I let go of his lips. He put his head on my chest and whispered "Hey, I just found something about the guy I'm in love with." Louis looked up at me and I smiled. "Oh really, what?" He blushed. "He's a fantastic kisser." I laughed and put a peck on his lips before I pulled out my phone that was making an annoyingly loud voice. My mom was calling. _Oh shit. I'm in so much trouble. _

"Hey mom." I looked up at Louis and gave him an excusing look. He nodded and gave me a sign to hand the phone over to him. "Mrs. Styles? Hello. Yes. I understand. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm his English teacher, Mr. Tomlinson. Harry seems to have trouble concentrating in class. I know. Yes. No, don't bother. I will. See you soon. Good bye." I looked up at him, really confused. He handed me the phone and smiled. "Come on, Harry. I promised your mom to get you home now." I simply nodded and sat in to Louis's car.

Just as we drove up to my house, I took Louis's hand. "Louis, this is going to sound so weird. But how old are you?" I saw him almost bursting into laughter. "No worries, Styles. I'm just twenty. Only two years older than you." I simply nodded and opened the door and walked into my house. "Well aren't you coming inside to say hello to my mother, Mr. Tomlinson." He smiled and walked inside as well. "Mom! I'm home." Not long after, mom came running into the hallway. "Hey mom. This is Mr. Tomlinson, Mr. Tomlinson, this is my mom." They both shakes hands and gave each other a smile. "Are you sure you're a teacher? You look really young." Louis smiled and nodded. "Yes I am Mrs. Styles. Just check the school system if you have any doubt." Anne's face softened and let out a little laugh.

"Well I should get going, it's school tomorrow, so don't stay up too late, Harry." Louis waved and walked out the door before I could say anything. Anne turned around from the door and looked at me. "You like him." _Well thank you, mom. No questions, just straight to the statement. _"Uhm, where do you get that from?" My voice cracked and I felt the warmth in my cheeks growing. I looked down, but she kept on looking at me. "Harry, it's okay. He's just two years older than you. But just keep it outside of school, okay?" She kissed my cheek and went into the kitchen. I walked upstairs to my room and lied down on my bed. _Okay, what the fuck did just happen? Did mom just tell me to date my teacher? I guess she did have a point though. If they got caught, Louis was screwed. Well then, I guess I'll have a lot of tutoring sessions over the next couple of weeks._

**"Sleep well. And thanks for caring about me.  
-Haz xx"**

I lied the phone down beside me closed my eyes, almost sleeping when I got a respond.

**"You too. And hey, I'll always care.  
-Lou xx"**

I smiled after I'd read the text almost ten times. _No worries Harry. He cares. And he'll be here tomorrow. _And with that I felt my eyes slowly closing, dragging me into a dreamland. To my fairy tale. Dragging me towards my prince. Towards Louis Tomlinson.


	4. Chapter 4

"Good afternoon class!" I was sitting in the front, staring at Louis. The guy I had fallen so hard for. The perfect guy with his feminine voice and striped t-shirts. His glasses and suspenders always on its place. I let out a silent sigh and tried to focus class nodded and looked up at Louis. "So I figured we'd have a little fun today, since it's Friday and last lesson. So I want all of you guys to think of a question to ask me. And I will answer all of them." The girls gave a dreaming gaze as Louis turned around to collect the papers. _They're not going to steal him. Pull back the claws. _I turned around and looked out the window, not wanting to look at the girls. They were basically drooling over his boy- _He's not your boyfriend, Harry. _True, but what were they then?

As the class wrote down some questions, I couldn't manage to take my eyes off of Louis. He looked up and met my gaze. I blushed deeply and looked down to my desk, still unsure what to write on the piece of paper handed to me not long before. "Mr. Styles. Can you step out into the hallway with me please?" Louis's voice filled the room, and suddenly all eyes were on me. I swallowed thickly and stood up. "We'll be back soon." Louis opened closed the door after me and I tried not to get too close.

"Harry..." I still had my face to the floor. "I just need to ask you a question, okay?" I nodded, still not meeting his eyes. "Mr. Strangfold and I have been talking, and we want to have a presentation about bullying. And we wondered if you could just tell what the bullies do to you, and what effects it has on you?" I knew Louis just meant good, but I was scared. "I don't know, Mr. Tomlinson. I mean, I'd love to, but what if they get angry and" I took a deep breath calming myself down. "I just don't know if I can." Finally I managed to look up in his sparkling eyes. "Two things. First; I'm Louis outside of the classroom. And second; You can do it. I'll help you, and I'll be by your side at all times, okay?" I nodded, and smiled a weak smile. "Do you have your question ready?" Louis smiled at me, and I blushed. "I do, but I think I should tell you later." Louis got a confused look in his eyes, but I ignored it and went into the classroom again.

All the girls had stupid, ridiculous, and foolish questions. They all sounded the same; How old are you? What's your full name? Are you single? Are you a virgin? It just got stupider and stupider. I sighed and looked at all the girls that circled the teacher, and the boys who where discussing which of the girls's asses were best. I turn my head and look out the window. The Fray filling my ears. I hear the bell calling somewhere behind the music and I stand up, grabbing my books, but still trying to be last, just so I could talk to Louis.

"Mr. Styles, do you mind staying after class, I have something to discuss with you." I looked up at Louis and nodded as I dropped my bag at the desk again. The boys said something about the gay parade was picking me up today. I just looked down and walked over to Mr. Tomlinsons desk. "You didn't ask me a question today, Mr. Styles." I nodded slowly as I saw the last students leave the classroom. "I can ask it now though. It's rather personal, so I didn't want the others to hear." He got the point and walked over to the door, turning the lock over.

I took his hand and dragged him over to the window. I turned him to face the window and stood behind him. "Look out." I whispered into his ear as I wrapped my hands around his waist. "Now I want you to ignore the snow falling down and tell me what you see." He looked out and took a deep breath before his voice filled my ears again. "Children. Happy children." I nodded. "Yes. You're right. They do look happy." Louis turned around, only to stare into my eyes and with our lips only millimetres away from each others. "Tell me your question, Mr. Styles." I smiled and took a deep breath. And looked into his hypnotizing eyes.

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

The question was hanging in the air, and the tension that had just been there with it surely but slowly disappeared as he pulled away and looked up at me. "Harry..." I let his hands go and backed up a few steps, still staring at him. But when he turned his down to face the ground, I turned around and started to walk out of the classroom. I tried not to run, thinking that it would be way to obvious, but I was hurt. At the same time I tried to hold back the tears that were pressing behind my eyes, but again, another challenge.

"Harry, please. Wait." I heard Louis hurrying to pick up all his stuff, whatever that was, and started to run after me. But at this point, I really didn't care. I heard him whispering my name loud enough to hear as I pushed the exit door a little bit harder then I was supposed to, so the wood handle made a loud noise when it hit the brick wall. I quickly turned around to see if the door was broken, but all I saw was Louis walking towards me with big steps. I turned around again and started to run home. I really didn't care what happened to me anymore.

I felt tears falling down and my throat making small sobs as I took deep breaths. The ground was white, slippery and the snow was falling so thickly, that even the footprints that had been behind me wasn't even visible. Suddenly I tripped and fell into the snow on the sidewalk. The coldness was slowly but surly dragging all my warmth out. I don't even know how long I lied here for, cause at one point I fell asleep and everything turned black.

The next thing I remember is waking up in my extremely comfortable bed. I didn't even need to open my eyes to understand that. The strong smell and the bed I'd been ignoring school for way too many times earlier was not to be unmistakable. I opened my eyes and stared up in the roof, at least I tried to. The lights were all out, and the curtains were pulled in front of the window. I sat up after a little fight with the three blankets my overprotected mom had packed me in. I walked over to my closet and dragged out a pair of slippers and some sloppy clothes. I walked out in the hallway and was just about to walk down the stairs when I hears voices in the living room.

"Mr. Tomlinson, I'm so glad you brought him home. Thank you so much." I froze. Louis was in my house. Again. Exept the fact that I didn't want him in my house at this point.

"No problem, Anne. I'm just glad I found him before it was too late." He paused and I heard both of them sipping their tea, the perfect sign for awkward silence. "Anne, can I ask you something?" Even though I didn't see them, I knew she nodded and gave him a sign to talk.

"Well, I guess you know that I'm in love with Harry," again, I knew she nodded. "and today, he was so cute. And he told me to look out the window and tell him what I saw, and I told him that I saw happy children." I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. I was fighting the urges to run down and hug the older boy sitting on the couch. I kept on seeing the part where he pulled himself away over and over again in my head. I actually managed to swallow the feeling of crying. Then he said something that caught my attention.

"I wasn't lying. I saw happy children. Cause he makes me feel alive and happy, and I feel like an adult around him, but at the same time I feel like a little child. I get butterflies whenever I'm near him and his touch makes me shiver. I melt every time I look into those perfect green eyes, and his curls just, damn." I smiled and felt myself deeply blush. "But then he asked me to be his boyfriend."

My smile slowly faded and I felt myself starting to shake. I was terrified of what he would say next. I closed my eyes as I tried to focus on something else, and from that moment till he opened his mouth felt like an eternity.

"You see, I really wanted to say yes. I really do want to be his boyfriend" Butterflies filled my stomach again and a smile was glued on my face. "but he asked me in my classroom, that one place where I can't be Louis." I heard his voice cracking in the end, breaking my heart that he was crying because of me.

"Louis, dear. He's right upstairs. Why don't you just tell him exactly what you told me. I'm sure he would understand. You won't get many other chances. And if it's to hard, write him a letter. He has always wanted a love letter." I felt myself blush. _Really mom?_ "So go now, Louis." I heard Louis putting his cup away and standing up. _Shit_. I jumped to my feet and ran quietly into my bedroom and threw myself under the covers, and then I waited. An hour later, Louis came up. And I was still pretending to sleep.

He stopped in the doorway to look over the room, and his eyes searched the whole room before they fell on me. He slowly closed the door behind him and sat down on my bed, taking my hand. _It feels like I'm in coma or something. _He took a deep breath before he opened his mouth and the most perfect voice filled the room.

"Hey Harry. Your mom told me you always wanted a love letter, so I decided to write you one. Uhm, just I don't know. Read it when you wake up I guess." He laughed a little bit before he stood up and walked over to me. He placed his lips on mine, and I tried to fight the urges to lean in to the kiss, keeping on reminding myself that I was supposed to be sleeping. "I never ment to hurt you. I hope you know that." Then he walked out, and just as the door closed, I ripped the letter open and started to read.

"Dear Harry."


	6. Chapter 6

"Dear Harry.

I'm starting at I'm so sorry for making you uncomfortable earlier. I love being around you, Harry. But you asked me in the classroom, the only place where I'm your teacher and you're my student. And that's why I couldn't say yes to being your boyfriend at that point. I want to be together with you. Harry Styles, the cutest person I've ever seen. Not Mr. Styles, my student, who only fails in my subjects. (Yeah, that just made me sound like an awful teacher.)

And I wish there would be words for how much I want to be your boyfriend. I get weak whenever I'm near you, and I try not to look at you, but you're so goddamn perfect. I love when I turn around, and you're staring at me, and when our eyes meet you blush and look down. You should try to keep your head up once, cause I'm blushing just as much as you are. You make my stomach turn and get filled with butterflies, just by fixing your hair. Your eyes light up my day, cause they remind me of green stars. Cliché much?

Do you remember when you told me that you'd been called a fag? And I just sat there, well, it all reminded me of when I was at school. It's not that long ago, you know? Anyways, I used to be bullied just as you are, and I promised myself to never like a boy ever again. How could I? I would just get comments thrown after me anyways. But then, I walked into the classroom this Autumn, and you, you were just sitting there with your perfect, everything. It's weird to think about the fact that I've been in love with you for months. All from the first day I walked into the classroom.

I remember I introduced myself as Mr. Tomlinson, and I told a little bit about myself (including my age.) All the girls where all over me, cause apparently I was "hot". And the boys just ignored the whole situation, just mumbling some bad things about me getting all the attention. I remember a blond girl, Pierre I think it was, was all over me. And I saw you sitting on the front row by the window, just looking out. You had your earplugs in, as like you wanted to escape the world. In your hand you were holding a pencil, and on your desk, a perfect written essay. I adjusted my glasses enough to see the grade you'd gotten. An A+.

After the bell rang, you were the first one out, as if you were running away from something, or someone. I guess Zayn, Pierre's boyfriend, since he's the only one of the bullies that are in English. Anyways, you forgot your assignment at your desk, so I decided to give it to your teacher. And when I did, I heard that you were a straight A+ student in all subjects, so why did you fail mine?

But as the months past, you just didn't seem to understand or try to participate, still I didn't bother. I loved watching you. I guess I was just as lost as you were. So when I the bell rang, and you didn't "wake up" I guess I thought it was time. So I talked to you, at least I tried to. I got more and more nervous, but I guess I wasn't the one on the floor.

I only decided to tutor you, cause I knew and know that I'm crazy in love with you, and I wanted to spend more time with you. I wanted to get to know you, so when you left the room, I have to say, I couldn't help but to smile, and if I wasn't too wrong, you had a smile on your face too?

Well, not long after, a student came running out telling me it was a fight going on outside, I couldn't do anything but to think of you. I was begging for it to be someone else, but when I saw you lying there, all beaten up. I just couldn't hold my tears back. I didn't care if I pushed anyone else down to the ground. All I wanted, was for you to be okay. So after a while, people left and it was just me and you.

When we were driving, I was begging for you not to realize that we'd been driving to my house, cause I wanted to take care of you. But it ended up with you taking care of my apartment (sorry about that.) But when I was going to check your bruises, and you started to cry, I wanted to hug you and just hold you close. I just didn't want to see you so upset. And then the bomb ticked of and everything but me went in fast-forward. I didn't press play until you'd ran outside and the door was slammed.

I ran after you, I hope you remember that, cause that is something I never want to forget. I want to remember how I told you everything, about how I felt about you. I was terrified, and if my hands wern't entwined with yours, I'm sure I'd been shaking like hell. I wanted to kiss you right there and then, but I was scared that you wouldn't kiss me back. But you did. And I've never been happier.

When we pulled apart, it was like a fire darkened. I wanted to kiss you again, but your mom had to call. Haha. Not going to complain though, she is the one making me write this to you now. But anyways, I talked to your mom and she asked me to drive you home, and I didn't feel awkward, I'd love to meet her, I mean, she seemed so nice. And she was, but you know what she told me when she hugged me goodbye?

Take care of him, Louis.

And I want to, Harry. I want to take care of you. I want to kiss you, and hug you. I want to hold your hand and I want you to laugh. I want to cuddle with you and make you romantic dinner (even though I almost burn down the kitchen when I'm making toast.) I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. I don't care if we have to hide, as long as you're mine.

So please be?

Sincerely, your Louis."

**AN: I'm going to Denmark tomorrow, and I don't know if there will be internet there. And if it's not, I can't update before Sunday ): Love you all though xx**


	7. Chapter 7

So sorry for not updating earlier, but I just got home, and there was no internet in Denmark ): Hope you like this though xx

It's been three days and a couple of hundred times since I read the letter the first time, and I'm finally going to school. I guess I'm somehow happy, but at the same time; I'm terrified. What am I going to do when I see Louis? What if Liam, Zayn and Niall were back? But most of all, how would Louis react to the fact that I hadn't given him an answer?

"Harry! Are you awake?" I stood up and walked over to my closet as I yelled back somehow an answer to my mom who happily walked in to the kitchen. I dragged on a random t-shirt and a tight pair of pants before running into the bathroom. I quickly fixed my hair and ran downstairs into the kitchen where my mom gave me a smile and a cup of tea.

"So, are you ready for school?" I looked up at her and gave a weak smile. "I really don't know. I mean, I can't wait to see Louis, but what if he thinks I'm ignoring him since I haven't answered him. It's been three days. And maybe he thinks I don't want him?" I felt my eyes fill with terror. I was not ready to lose Louis yet; I just don't know what to say to him.

"It's okay to not know what to say, Harry." She looked at me with a comforting look, but it wasn't enough to calm me down. "Can you please drive me to school now? I have to see Louis before class." My mom gave me a weak smile before looking up at the clock on the wall. "The school door doesn't open before an hour. Why don't you wait till then, and I'll drive you." I slowly nodded and gave her a weak smile before I ran into to my bedroom. There was no way I could wait an hour for Louis.

Not more than ten minutes I was running towards Louis's apartment. Yes, running. And it was pouring, better? I think not. I was running in old converse and a t-shirt. I think I even forgot my bag. Nice one, Harry. You've got to deliver all homework, and you forgot your bag. I ignored the voice in my head and tried to focus on not falling over as I ran. I got weird looks from people who were driving past me and even weirder looks from people who were outside just to get their newspaper, but honestly I didn't care at this point. I ran for Louis.  
"LOUIS!" I yelled at the top of my lungs while I was banging my fist at the door. "Open up, please." I felt my energy fading away as my voice lowered and my head fell, only to face the floor. I felt myself collapse and hit the ground, not caring to get any more soaked. Suddenly the door opened and I looked up and into his beautiful blue eyes. The eyes I'd fallen in love with.

"Harry!" Louis looked down at me with a looked that was somehow confused, scared and worried. "What are you doing here, like, now?" I managed to stand up with a little help from Louis. I opened my mouth to speak but my throat was dry from all the screaming and crying. Louis somehow read my eyes and pulled me inside. "Harry, your eyes are all puffed and red. And you're freezing and-" I crashed my lips against his and pulled him closer. He didn't turn down the invitation and joined in the make out session. After a couple of minutes I pushed him off a little, but only to look him in his eyes.

"Louis, will you just shut up and listen?" He nodded and gave me a week smile. I pulled him over to the coach and gave him a sign to sit. And he did. He looked up at me with big eyes as I tried to figure out what words to say, but the only thing my lips wanted at this point, was meeting his. I let out a quiet sight and sat down beside him.

"Louis, I love the letter, I mean I've read it hundreds of times." I stopped and looked down to the ground. "I know every word of it and I feel the exact same way about you." I stopped again and took a deep breath. "You make me smile like an idiot, like I've never done before. You make me happy, just by looking at me or being in the same room. I blush whenever you say my name and I want to hug and kiss you every time you smile just because you're so fucking cute and adorable. You make me feel loved, and you make me feel like no one has ever done." I looked up at Louis who was blushing deeply and smiled a smile that was hard to ignore. Bad timing getting distracted, Harry. "But the worst part is that I was terrified of saying something wrong and losing you. I'm not ready to lose you, and I don't want anyone else to have you. I don't want to share you."

I looked up and into his eyes. He smiled a small smile and blushed even deeper. I let out a weak laugh and smiled at him. He pulled me in for a hug and kissed my neck lightly. So here we were, two soaking wet boys, sitting on the couch and hugging. I couldn't do anything but to smile at the thought of Louis actually being my boyfriend. Actually, I didn't even know what we were, well except for being in love, but I don't think that it counts. Louis slowly pulled out of my grip and looked me in my eyes again. I could sit like this for hours; his eyes were just so goddamn perfect. I smiled and looked at him with a slightly confused look.

"Harry, there is this one thing I forgot to write in the letter." I looked at him with even more confused look. Keep calm, Harry. Louis came closed so our lips touch but at the same time, we didn't kiss. I felt him taking a deep breath before whispering;

"I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

"I love you."  
The words were hanging in the air as I pressed my lips to his. I was in shock I guess. How can I react to something like that? I love you are really big words, and the only ones that have ever said them to me, is my mom. But I guess she meant it in another way. I pulled away from the kiss and tried to focus, but all these thoughts were running around in my head.

"Harry, don't freak out. I'm not waiting expecting you to say it back yet. I just wanted you to know, okay?" He gave me a comforting smile and stood up, dragging me up with him. He looked at my still soaked clothes and smiled a little. Then he looked at his own and started to laugh.

"I guess we should get ourselves dry and get to school." I smiled and stood up. He took my hand and dragged me into the bedroom. "I guess you can borrow some of my clothes today, okay?" I nodded a smiled. Everything actually seems to be working out for me for once. I took the clothes Louis handed me and I started to change.

"Harry, can you just stop for one minute?" I turned around to face Louis. Or at least I tried to, he was not wearing a shirt and his stomach was showing. I guess I could've freaked out like teenage girl, but I tried to keep calm. I gave him a really confused look. "Take a look in the mirror, will you?" And I did. "What do you see?" I couldn't really figure out what Louis wanted with this. I mean, I was standing in only my underwear, and he was not wearing a shirt. So instead of saying anything, I just gave him another confused look.

"I'll tell you what I see." I nodded and he wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head on my shoulder. _Fuck. A bit turned on now, aren't we?_ "I see the most perfect boy I've ever seen. He's got no reason to feel uncomfortable about his body." Harry, this is the first time you've actually not freaked out about your body. "He has the most adorable smile you could ever find, and it seems to appear a lot around the boy who is holding him." I giggled and turned around to face him, still trying to hide what was growing in my pants. _Harry. You're screwed._ I bit my lip and faced the floor.

"Lou, where do we stand?" I didn't want to ruin this moment, but the question had been running through my head since the kiss and it was killing me. "I'm pretty sure this is my bedroom." I face palmed myself and started to laugh. Really Harry? You laugh at that joke? Wow. "I mean, are we together or not?" I gave him a hopeful smile and he returned it with his beautiful smile.  
"I'll be what you want us to be, okay?" I couldn't help but to smile even wider. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss was a soft and gentle one. He gently licked my lower lip, asking for permission for entrance, and I let him. _Yeah, this isn't helping with the problem._

"Are we a bit exited down there?" I looked up at him and blushed deeply. He laughed a little before giving me a tight hug. "It's okay, Harry. I can get rid of that problem of yours." I blushed even more and looked down. I felt Louis push me on to his bed and he crawled on top of me. He started to kiss my neck, before biting it. His hands were all down by my rubber band of my underwear, and then he pulled it off. His hand started to move up and down at my erection and slowly but surely made me moan.

Suddenly, he replaced his hand with his mouth, and I couldn't do anything but to moan. I felt Louis's tongue on the head, working his lips all over my erection. I let out a small scream before the white liquid spilled out. Louis crawled to his feet and helped me of the bed and handed me my underwear.

"That was" I tried to figure out the words that could fit to this situation as I tried to get my underwear back on. Louis grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. "Intense." I nodded and got the rest of the clothes on. Louis walked into the hallway and put his shoes on. So I followed and did the same. He opened the door and I followed. He locked it and took my hand, just to entwine his hand with mine.

Louis dragged me to his car, unwillingly letting go of my hand, but only to get in to the car. "Harry?" I turned over and smiled at the boy who was sitting next to me. "I hope you didn't felt uncomfortable. I guess I wanted to please you or something like that." Louis's expression was worried so I gave him a smile and shock my head as I grabbed his hand again. I moved closer to his ear and whispered so only he could hear.  
"I hope you'll enjoy being my boyfriend."


	9. Chapter 9

It didn't take long before we could see the school building growing at the end of the road. Louis parked the car and basically ran towards the teacher entrance while I was sprinting to the other side of the school ground. I ripped the door that I'd almost broken only a couple of days earlier open and didn't stop until I was standing in front of the classroom and knocked carefully on the door before opening it slowly, only to stutter as my body felt into a comfortable relaxation as I met Mr. Tomlinson's eyes.

"I'm so sorry I'm late Mr. Tomlinson, I had some problems this morning." I gave him an apologizing look and he gave me a smile that I couldn't really figure out. "It's okay, Mr. Styles. I heard you've been sick, so I'll let this one go, just don't do it again." I nodded and walked over to my usual spot. "Hey, Harry. Are you alright?" I turned around to meet Pierre's eyes. Even though she was Zayn's girlfriend, and Danielle was Liam's girlfriend, they were the people who cared most about me on school. I gave her a weak smile and whispered as quiet as possible. "I'm fine. I'm just a little tires." She nodded and turned her head back towards Mr. Tomlinson. I put my head on my desk and looked out the window as the snow fell lightly on the ground. I smiled and turned my head towards Pierre.

"What rumors are going around about me?" She slowly turned to face me and gave me a somehow confused look.

"You still haven't heard the biggest one?" I tilted my head to the side and gave her a explain-it-now-please look. She took a deep breath before starting.

"Some people said they've seen you a lot with Mr. Tomlinson lately," I held my breath. This was not good, how could they've forgotten to think about the fact that he's my teacher? "and everyone thinks you're failing English." I let my breath slowly but surely get out and felt myself relax. I gave Pierre a small and innocent smile.

"It's true, though Pierre. I'm failing, and Mr. Tomlinson is like my psychologist. I meet him a couple of times a week, just to talk out about my feelings and how the days has been. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I feel ashamed." She gave me a supporting smile and nodded.

"Oh, that reminded me, I got this note, it says your name on though, so I guess it's for you. I haven't read it, I promise." She handed me a small white piece of paper that had been folded multiple times. I reached out for the note and grabbed it. The paper was somehow silky, but at the same time rough. I opened the note and let out a silent scream, just before the sob was threatening to escape my mouth.

I felt tears pressing and I looked over at Pierre, but she just gave me an I-have-no-clue-who-wrote-it look. Everything started to blur and I felt tears running down my cheeks. I tried to only let out quiet sobs, but the pain wasn't making it easy. I felt Pierre sending me a concerned look before she raised her hand.

"Mr. Tomlinson? I think we have a situation over here." She tried to say it quiet, but everyone had heard and everyone was facing me. I heard Mr. Tomlinsons steps closer and he stopped in front of Pierre.

The note's words were running through my head all the time.

**"Harry,**

"What seems to be the problem, Pierre?" She and looked over at me with her eyes. And not more than ten seconds later, me and Louis were standing in the hallway. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer for every sob I let out. "Shh." He carefully brushed my curls and I felt myself calm down. "Do you want to show me the note, Mr. Styles?" He looked down at me as he pulled away. "I don't need you to be my teacher at this point, Louis. Please." I whispered into his chest that I'd pulled closer to myself again. He started to play with my curls and I relaxed again. "Do you want to show me the note now, Harry?" I gave him the note and felt the tears pressing as his eyes skimmed the paper.

**You're a fucking fag, and I really don't understand why the hell you're still alive. **

His face fell and his eyes looked up at me with a concerned look, but I just looked away, didn't want to meet his eyes at this point. _Harry. Pull yourself together. He's your goddamn boyfriend. _I looked up again and met Louis's eyes, the tears were falling and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

**Just kill yourself and everyone will be happy."**

He crushed the paper into a ball and pulled me even closer. He kissed my forehead and whispered into my hair. "Harry. Don't believe them. Just don't. I would break if you died, or got hurt. Please, don't leave me, love." I felt Louis's body collapse into my arms and he buried his head into my shoulder. I stood straight up and put my arms around him. "I'm not going anywhere, Louis. I promise."

AN: Sorry about not updating yesterday, we have a lot of homework and I was tired. Hope you enjoy this part and sorry it's so short :( xx


	10. Chapter 10

When Louis and I opened the door into the classroom again, every pair of eyes in the class was switching between staring at me and Louis. I took a deep breath before stepping into the room and waiting for Louis to turn back into Mr. Tomlinson. I gave him a weak smile before slowly but surely walked over to my seat next to Pierre.

"Hey, what did the note say?" I looked over at Pierre with big eyes. I was still at a stage where I was unsure to trust her or not, so I decided to ignore her question. I looked up on Mr. Tomlinson as Pierre's eyes were piercing into my head.

"Harry! Don't ignore me. I will personally send Zayn-" She stopped herself as she saw the fear building up in my eyes. I turned around to face her and gave her a failing smile. "Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to threaten you." I nodded and turned to face Mr. Tomlinson again, without saying a single word.

As the bell rang and everyone was out the door I walked up to Mr. Tomlinson's desk and looked down at my feet.

"Mr. Styles, may I help you?" I blushed and smiled a little before looking up and met his eyes. "Uhm, well, I want to thank you Mr. Tomlinson, for helping me out today, and I was wondering if you would mind being my psychologist for an hour?" He nodded slowly before picking up the school phone.

"Principle Strangfold. This is Louis Tomlinson speaking, in class today we seemed to have a problem, and Harry Styles would like to talk to me. Is it okay if I take him out of the next two classes? Yes, I understand. Thank you. Goodbye." He smiled a small smile at me before standing up.  
"Well Mr. Styles, I can think of better places to talk than in this classroom. Come on, let's go to Starbucks." I smiled and nodded slowly before following Mr. Tomlinson's footsteps out the school building and into his car. I watched carefully as he started the engine and drove out on the road. None of us spoke, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable.

I made sure that we were out of school sight before entwining my hand with his and giving him a cheeky smile. He smiled back and flipped his hair and I couldn't do anything but to smile and start laughing. Louis turned around and looked at me shortly before looking at the road again. "I love your laughter you know." I blushed again and looked out the window, still letting out small giggles.

Not long after, Louis parked the car out side of Starbucks and we walked in, hand in hand.

"Harry!" I stopped, terrified. I let go of Louis's hand and looked up into Zayn's brown eyes. If I didn't crook my back or make myself this small, I would've been taller than all of the bullies. But I didn't and I was smaller than'd ever been

"Mr. Tomlinson, would you mind if I speak to Harry alone?" Louis searched Zayn's eyes and nodded quietly before walking over to the counter where he ordered some coffee. I was staring right into Zayn's eyes and for some reason it seemed like it made him uncomfortable. He swallowed hard and tried to escape my eyes longing for an explanation.

"I talked to Pierre, and she told me I needed to talk to you." I widened my eyes, most out of surprise. And for the first time, I opened my mouth to say anything else than a prayer. "You, Zayn Malik, the school most popular boy, needs to talk to me, Harry Styles, the biggest faggot of all time?" He looked just as surprised as me on my reaction, but it didn't stop there. "I've been pushed around, bullied, been dragged down and been fucked over and over by you guys. And now you're talking to me like nothing has happened? Are you high?"

His eyes fell to the floor and I felt guilty as I saw his gaze, but the feeling quickly disappeared when I remembered how he had been treating me over the last couple of years. Suddenly he raised his head and pushed his lips on mine. I was fucking kissing Zayn Malik, and I guess most people, yes even boys, in our school would die for this, but I wasn't like everyone else. I tried to push him away, but his grip was so steady and strong.

Suddenly I felt the lips that had been attacking mine being pushed away in a dangerously fast speed. I looked up at Louis who was standing there furious. He shaked his hand and looked down at Zayn who was now sitting on the floor with his hand to his cheek. I looked at Louis, back at Zayn, up at Louis, down at Zayn. Back and forth until Louis freaked out.

"What the fucking hell was that, Zayn?" He looked terrified up at his teacher who had just punched him in the face. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it again. I kept my eyes at Zayn as I grabbed Louis's arm and tried to pull him away. He didn't even move.

"I wanted to be sure that I was gay." I quickly turned around in shock as Louis's face softened. "You're gay? For how long?" Zayn looked down, like he was embarrassed. He took a deep breath before opening his mouth again. "Ever since I met Liam." My face dropped to the ground.

"You're in love with Liam? As in Liam Payne?" Zayn gave me a weak smile and tried to stand up, ending with climbing a chair. I turned around to face Zayn. "Is that why I'm your victim? Cause I wasn't afraid to be open about it?" Zayn shook his head. "No, we were jealous. Everything we do is so open and we can't even look at someone without them fainting."

I nodded and looked down, entwining my hand in Louis's. Poor Louis who was still jealous about the fact that Zayn had kissed me on my lips. I guess I had to prove to him that I was his later. "So..." I started and lifted my head. "Why don't you tell Liam what you feel?" Zayn's head dropped to the ground.

"Because of the fact that Liam already has someone." I tilted my head to my side. "Well yes, isn't he with Danielle?" Zayn smirked and looked up to meet my eyes. He leaned closer towards me. My eyes looked desperately over at Louis who was squeezing the life out of my hand. I felt Zayn's breath of a mix of cigarettes and mint gum on my face. "Danielle is an act." I shot my eyes open in surprise. Zayn leaned even closer without breaking the eye contact.

"The real couple is Liam and Niall."

**A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated lately. I've had this huge Humanities project that was due today and I've been focusing on that lately. Again, I'm sorry and I hope you keep on reading! Love you all xx**


	11. Chapter 11

"The real couple is Liam and Niall."

The words were hanging in the air. The tension slowly but surely turning into an awkward silence. I tried to take my eyes off Zayn. I tried to move my body. But nothing in my body was listening to my mind. I wasn't even breathing. I tried to wake up from the shock he had put me into, but his eyes were digging into mine and dragging me into a somehow connection. I was locked.

"Harry!" Louis screamed my name into my ear as he tried to get my attention. Not one single part of my body wanted to listen to the older boy though. It just simply refused.

"Please, breathe." I opened my mouth and my body finally let the air fill my lungs. I turned my head to look at Louis who was freaking out beside me. I felt anger tears pressing in my eyes, but fought them back. I was so confused of what had just happened. I wanted to make Zayn explain, but I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to beat him up, but I didn't want to be like them. So I just stood here in shock, with my eyes begging Louis for help.

"But they ruined me." I turned my head back to look at Zayn again. My eyes filled with the mixed feelings of being furious and broken. "You ruined me." His gaze dropped and fell the floor. I stood there, only focusing on my breath. I felt Louis entwine his fingers in mine and drag me towards him. I put my other hand around his waist, not letting go of his hand, because him entwining one of his hand in mine, and having his other arm around my neck was the only thing attaching me to earth.

"Come on, Harry. Let's go." I nodded slowly and let go of his waist. He opened the door for me and basically dragged me into his car. We didn't say much before Louis put his hand on the steering wheel and started the engine.

I turned my head towards the window and looked at all the trees and people we passed. I couldn't get Zayn's words off my mind. I'd never suspected that they would be jealous of me. Tiny me.

"I'm sorry for acting like this, Lou. It's just a really big shock for me." I spoke silently, still looking out the window, but still I felt him giving me a weak smile. He entwined our fingers again and dragged my hand up to his mouth and pressed his lips softly on my fingertips.

"Harry, you had every right to. And I'll be here on the side. I love you." I turned my head and met his eye and gave him a small smile. He turned his eyes back on the road and started concentrating on that.

A silence filled the car, I didn't mind in the start, but it started turning into an awkward silence. I wanted to hear the older lad's voice. See his smile. Not this wreak I'd made. I turned my head back to the window and started to think of the last week, and all that had happened.  
I just fell into deep thought. I didn't want to let him see me this sad and upset, but again, he was my boyfriend and he knew me like nobody else.

"We're home, Harry. So let's wipe those tears away and put on that smile I love so much, eh?" I giggled and stepped out of the car and walked over to the door entrance. I looked up at Louis who was locking the car, and for some reason I couldn't hold myself from getting so happy that tears filled my eyes. I quickly dried them away, but apparently Louis had seen them.

"What's wrong, Haz?" He pulled me into a hug and I smiled into his neck.

"I love you, that's all." I felt Louis' arms loosen in shock before tightening even more around me. He smiled as he let go of me and walked over to open the door. I stumbled inside and dropped my jaw to the floor and looked up at Louis.

"LOUIS. I cleaned up here like a week ago, and now it looks even worse." Louis started laughing hysterically as I practically ran over to the living room picking up magazines from the floor and putting them nicely in a pile in the corner.

I was just about to pick up some clothes from the floor when a couple of arms wrapped themselves around my waist and tackled me on the couch. I landed on my back and stared up into Louis' beautiful blue eyes. I blushed and smiled. "I didn't think I needed to clean, since we'd make a mess anyways."

I laughed while he was grabbing the skin on my neck with his teeth. I giggled once again before putting my hands in his hair. I moaned a little bit before pulling his body closer to mine.

"Hey, are you sure about this?" He gave me a concerned look and I nodded slowly.

"I want you, Louis." He gave me a confirming nod and took of my shirt. I felt a shiver down my spine as the cold air hit my sweaty body. I felt Louis kiss me lightly lower and lower towards my rock-hard erection. I moaned softly as he stripped my pants off.

"Louis, you've got to many clothes on." He smirked and took off his shirt. My gaze stopped at his abs and stayed there for a while before he pushed a kiss on my swollen lips. I felt his ahand slowly but surely starting to move on my erection. I pulled away from the kiss to throw my head back.

"You like that? Wait until later. You'll love it." He gave me a wink and kissed his way downwards until his lips hit my erection. He swirled his tongue around the head and sucked it harder. I moaned his name and wrapped my hands in his hair. He pushed my erection further down his throat and I could feel the orgasm building up. I knew I couldn't last long, because Louis started teasing the moment we walked in that door.  
"Louis, I'm going to cum." I closed my eyes hard and tried not to empty myself, but Louis looked up at me with big begging eyes. So I let myself go and Louis climbed happily up on my chest as he swallowed my fillings.

"That was nice." Louis gave me a smile. I collected enough breath to open my mouth and whisper small compliments in his ear. He giggled and gave me a smile.

A wide grin filled my face and I kissed his swollen lips once again before wrapping my arms around him and pull him closer.

"I love you, Louis."

**A/N: So sorry for not uploading sooner, I've had the chapter ready for a while, I just wanted it to be good. Hope you like it xx**


	12. Chapter 12

Lies. Betrayal. Hurt. No words seemed to fit. Everything was wrong, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. Not anywhere close to it. But it had happened, and I was alone again.

A sob filled the room as I lied on my bed with my face pressed down in the pillow. I tried not to cry, I tried to ignore, and to get the picture out of my head. But I couldn't. It was too hard. The scene was on replay over and over again inside my head.

_"Louis? Are you here?" I opened the door and walked into the somehow clean apartment. I dropped my bag on the floor and walked closer to the bedroom. I didn't even bother to take of my shoes. _

_"Louis!" I tried to say his name again, but the feeling in stomach, somehow told me to turn around and walk out. I ignored it and moved another step closer to the bedroom. I started to wonder if I was paranoid as the sound of moaning turned louder. I opened the door with one hand and stopped breathing. _

_I stared at Louis slowly covering himself up and turned away from the girl under him and looked at me. He looked up at me, trying not to meet my eyes, but failed miserably. I felt tears streaming down from my eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but I was already out the door. _

_I ran away. I had no clue where. Just away. As I ran I felt the pain aching in my heart. I felt the tears burning my eyes. I slowly but surely slowed down and collapsed as a ball somewhere far away from Louis. _

_Why did he have sex with someone else? Maybe I wasn't good enough. But with a girl? Last time I checked, he was gay. I felt more tears push behind my eyelids. I kept on playing the scene until I fell asleep._

I turned around and looked out the window of my room. I have no clue how I'd gotten here, not that I really cared either. I wanted to fall asleep again, and forget everything, but the knock on my door dragged me away from that plan.

"Harry, there's someone here to see you." I panicked. I heard my mom walk away, while someone else enter the room.

"Harry…Are you okay?" I froze. I'd never heard a voice more concerned. But on the other hand, I'd never been that terrified.

"I'm fine, Zayn." I tried not to show how terrified I was, but it was me. And after what Louis had done to Zayn, he was probably furious.

"I found you passed out in the street, are you absolutely sure that you're okay?" I turned around and faced Zayn. He looked tired and just as depressed as I was.

I gave him a nod, even though I knew he saw the pain in my eyes. "Uhm, this is going to be awkward. But I was wondering if you would join me at Liam's place later today." He turned away as my eyes grew bigger. Zayn knew that Liam was worst. Was this a part of a plan? I couldn't say yes to this. No, Harry. No. Just say it. No. No. No.

"Yeah, sure." What the fucking fuck? What happened to no? I felt stupid for talking to myself but ignored it and gave Zayn a fake smile.

"Really? I know Liam is a bitch to you at school and stuff, but I actually think you'd be surprised to see how he really is." Zayn gave me a smile and stood up from the bed.

"I'll pick you up at five, okay?" I gave him a confirming nod and he walked out the door. I sat still for a couple of minutes before I threw the blanket on the floor and picked some good used jeans and a Ramones t-shirt before I headed for the showers.

Two hours later I was sitting in Zany's' car and I was nervous as fuck. Zayn had noticed and tried to calm me down, but the feeling of being betrayed was still somewhere within me. My phone was still buzzing nonstop, and I saw all the messages Louis sent me, but the thought of him actually cheating on me disgusted me.

"We're here." I looked up from my phone, only to face one of the biggest houses I'd ever seen. My mouth automatically dropped and I could hear Zayn laugh somewhere in the real world. I opened my car door and stepped out, still not managing to understand how anyone could live in a house like that.

"ZAYN!" I quickly dropped my gaze to the ground as Liam's voice was yelled out. I heard him coming closer and I looked up and met his gaze. He moved closer and closer as I felt myself moving towards Zayn.  
"Hey, Li. What are we doing today?" I heard Zayn and Liam do some kind of a handshake and hug. I stayed quiet and invisible, but apparently Liam had other plans.

"Zayn, you brought Harry?" I must say I was surprised that Liam called me by my actual name. I raised my head to face Liam as Zayn pushed me friendly in my arm.

I tried to speak normal, but the only sound that came out was a weak and scared voice. "Hi Liam."

"Harry, I'm glad you came. We have so much to talk about." And with that I was dragged in to the life of three of the most popular boys in school.

* * *

One month later

After I'd spent the day at Liam's' house, I was invited to the party the next day, and the video games on Sunday. I honestly didn't mind. Liam had taken me under his wing. Zayn taught me to dress "cool" and Niall taught me to loosen up.

When school started the following Monday, I owned the school. Every girl wanted me, and every boy wanted to be me. Liam had told everyone I was bisexual, not gay. I was rude to people, but kept my straight A+'s

I was the teachers dream, and the students' nightmare. I acted like I owned the place, and I loved it. So here I was, standing in the school hall, trying not to get too much attention, I needed Liam at my side to be rude. So I took a deep breath and was about to close my locker as a high voice coughed.

"Uhm, hi Harry, so I was wondering if you were doing anything on Friday?" A girl, pretty cute, blond long hair, brown eyes and way too much make up was standing in front of me. I sighed and closed my locker door before opening my mouth.

"Sorry. I've got plans." I turned around and walked away towards the lunch room, hoping I would meet Zayn, Liam or Niall on the way.  
"Harry!" I felt someone jump on my back and I almost lost balance. "Gee, love you too, Niall."

Niall laughed and Liam pulled him down from my back. "Come on, monkey. Let's get you some food." Niall grinned and dragged us into the hall.

As we walked to our normal table I couldn't do anything but to notice the boy sitting there, but apparently, I wasn't the only one.

"What the fuck are you doing at our table?" The boy looked up as Zayn screamed at him. The whole cafeteria turned quiet and all eyes were staring at the clearly new boy.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He tried to not sound too loud; but that he understood who we were did seem to scare him.

"Get lost. We don't want your excuses." I yelled at him and Liam gave me a high-five. The boy quickly stood up and walked away, and just within minutes, the whole cafeteria was back to normal.

"What was his problem? Jesus Christ." Zayn looked annoyed, clearly not over the fact that someone was sitting by his table.

"Calm down, Zayney." Niall couldn't hold himself from laughing at that point. I gave them all a smirk before I stood up.

"Liam, do you mind borrowing me some money, forgot mine at home." Liam stood up and sighed before he walked over to a random girl. You clearly saw him flirting, and her blushing. I shook my head and sat down, waiting for him to get back.

"So, how are you?" I looked up at Niall who had asked me the question.

"What do you mean?" I knew where he was going at, but I didn't really want to talk about it.

"Whatcha think?" He gave me an are-you-stupid look and I smirked.

"I'm fine. Honestly, it's just weird. I haven't spoken to him after, well, after the day at his house." Niall gave me a supporting look before turning to the food he'd taken from a random person on his way to the table. I didn't really get what was happening around me until I felt Liam shake my shoulder.

"Hm, what?" I looked up at him, as Zayn tried his best to not laugh.

"I said, here's your money, but I'm not going to join you over there." I sighed as I stood up and walked towards the line. Good thing about being popular was that anywhere you went; people would treat you like a celebrity, so within seconds I was at the front of the line.

I bought a bottle of orange juice and a muffin and was on my way back to the table when someone nocked the juice out of my hand.

"What the fuck was that for?" The boy didn't look up, but I knew it was the new kid. He tried to open his mouth, but he couldn't get any words out.

"First you take our table, and then you knock my food out my hand, and then you don't even apologize." And with that, I raised my fist and hit him as hard as I could in his face. He fell to the floor, and I stepped over him and walked over to the rest of the boys.

The whole football team yelled something like "well done" and all the cheerleaders laughed. Zayn, Niall and Liam all gave me a high-five each.

No one had ever really seen me angry, always though I was the little puppy following the boys around, but now, I knew they were just as terrified for me as for the others. I smirked and looked over at the boy who nobody dared to help.

"Harry Styles! Come to my office immediately." I knew that voice, and apparently the others did too. They gave me a comforting clap on the back. I really didn't have a choice as I stood up and followed the teacher out the door and into his office. He closed the door and gave me a sign to sit down.

"What seems to be the problem, Mr. Tomlinson?"

**A/N: I am truly sorry for not updating in what seems to be forever, I've just been busy, but I really hope you like this chapter, and yeah. Reviews? :) xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in forever ): I'm dedicating this chapter to jameverimu for being awesome to talk to :) Reviews? xx**

* * *

"What seems to be the problem, Mr. Tomlinson?"

"Harry. You can't just punch some innocent kid over!" Louis was yelling at me, and I could easily feel him getting scared.

" . You have nothing to say." I looked away from his eyes. I wanted to cry, but I didn't.

"Yes I do! I'm your teacher for god sake, Harry! Maybe you should stop meeting Liam, Niall and Zayn." At this point I was so annoyed I couldn't even sit still.

"Don't you dare bring the boys in to this." I was standing up, with my hands on his desk and leaning forward. "Don't you dare."

"Clearly they're a bad influence on you. You just pushed a new student to the floor, for bumping in your arm." Louis' voice was calm, but clearly he was struggling to keep it that way.

"I'm fucking fine."

"Harry, I know you. And this isn't you."

"You don't know a shit about me."

"Harry, I'm your boyfriend." He stopped himself. Neither of us really knew what we were. I looked down, and Louis turned to look out the window.

"Then why did you fuck her?" I knew I was crying. I could feel the tears streaming down, and even if I hated to seem weak in front of Louis, I couldn't bring myself to care at this point.

"Harry. I'm so-"

"Please don't say you're sorry." I looked up, and met his eyes, just as red and full of tears as my own.

"But I am, Harry."

"Louis, please. I can't handle this right now. I still love you, but I won't allow myself sitting here listening to your apology. Cause then I will run over to you, hug you, kiss you and forgive you. And I'm not ready for that, Louis. I can't put myself through that.

I was still staring into his eyes, and I saw more and felt more and more tears filling up in my eyes.

"Harry, you still had no reason to punch that kid. What if he got hurt?" My eyes widened in surprise. Not because he changed the subject, I was glad about that, but because he brought up being hurt.

"Why would you care if he got hurt? You broke me." I pushed myself out of the chair and was on my way out the door when I stopped and turned around only to meet more tears. "I guess you never really cared about at me at all."

I was angry as I left the office. Angry, frustrated and slightly hurt. I tried to fight back the tears, but they didn't seem to follow. They kept on falling and falling. And every time I blinked them away, a new tear was in its place.

I started punching the lockers and yelling like a mad man. I wanted to run back and collapse in his arms. I wanted him to comfort me, but I couldn't. I was going to be strong. I was strong. I am strong. I'm Harry Fucking Styles. I'm on the top. I'll show Louis what hurts feels like.

I stood still, dried my tears and looked up. I was going to show him.

Determined I started walking back to the cafeteria. I put up a smirk on my face and pushed the doors so quickly that the whole cafeteria went quiet. Every single pair of eyes was on me. I turned my smirk into a big grin and walked over to the blonde girl from earlier, pulled her close to me, and kissed her rough.

She let go of a little moan, and I pushed her away from me and walked to the others again.

"What the fuck was that for?" I smirked at Liams' clearly annoyed, but concerned voice.

"Chill, Liam. She wanted it. Like everyone else here." I turned around and gave the girl a wink. She blushed deeply and looked away.

"Harry, what happened inside of Mr. Tomlinson's office?" I turned around and faced Niall.

"Nothing special happened."

"Harry, obviously he did something."

"No he didn't. I'm fine."

Niall shook his head and stood up.

"If you don't want to tell me, I guess I have to ask him myself." And before I could even reply, he was out the door. I let my head fall between my arms on the table and let out a groan.

"Why does he have to be so curious?" Liam lets out a little laugh and pats my back.

"I don't even know." Liam pauses and suddenly laugh even louder. "Zayrror is real." I looked up and let a laugh out while staring at Zayn who had fallen asleep with his mirror.

"Typical Zayn."

We stood up and started to walk to class as the bell rang, leaving a very tired and soon very confused sleeping.  
As we got into the class I sat by my normal seat in the back and started to stare out the window. I started thinking of Louis of course. I miss him. I really do miss him. I miss how he laughs at my obviously stupid jokes. I miss how me dries my tears and comforts me for the smallest things. I miss his random kisses. I miss, well, everything about him. I want him back. I really do. But I know I fucked it up.

"Harry!" I turned around only to meet Niall standing over me trying to catch his breath. His eyes were worried and I tried to stay calm.  
"What?" Niall stopped and stared at me, opening his mouth, but not really knowing what to say, so he closed it again and looked away.  
I wanted to stand up and shake the life out of the Irish boy there and then.

"Niall, please tell me what's wrong." I walked closer to him and tried to keep my voice calm.

"Harry…" Niall turned around and exited the room. I ran after him with feeling mixed as fear and anger.

"Niall! Tell me. What happened?" Niall turned around to face me.

"Harry, I don't know what happened. I walk in there, to talk about you, and your obviously bitchy and stupid behavior. And just as I enter the room, I find him crawled up in a corner of the room, telling himself ungly things, and he was crying. So I'm asking again; What happened in Mr. Tomlinsons office?" I let out a breath. I turned away from Niall and stared to the ground.

"I made Louis cry?"


	14. Chapter 14

The next couple of days went by surprisingly fast. In English I would sit in the back, hating my life and amazingly enough, keep quiet. So here I was, hating myself quietly. Niall was sick, probably a hangover. Zayn was ditching school, probably laughing at Niall. And Liam, well, he was in math. So here I am, sitting alone, trying not to make myself visible in front of Louis.

"Harry!" My head turned only to face an empty classroom. Déjà vu much.

"School's over." Louis didn't even look up. I guess he didn't want to meet my eyes.

"Uhm, yeah I'm sorry." I stood up and pushed all my books in my bag and started to walk towards the door.

"Harry…" I turned around and stared into those perfect eyes.

"Yes, Mr. Tomlinson?"

"It's raining a lot, and uhm, you live far away. Would you like a ride?" I tilted my head to the side and watched out the window. And to be honestly, it was pouring. And normally I wouldn't mind walking in the rain, but firstly; this was Louis, and secondly; I like the rain, not pouring.

"Uhm, yeah, sure." He gave me a weak smile and picked up his things and pushed them into his own bag before turning towards me.

The hallway was creepy and empty, but still, for some reason I felt safe with Louis by my side. I know I shouldn't. I should feel scared that he'll abandon me or something. But I just couldn't.

"Uhm, Louis?" I stopped walking and turned away from him, to face the floor. "I just want to say that.. uhm." I stopped as he lifted my head up and we stared into each other's eyes.

"It's okay Harry." I moved closer, leaving just a few centimeters in between us. I took a deep breath and moved even closer to his face, leaving only a few millimeters between us.

"No it's not, Louis. I'm lying when I say I'm fine. I'm lying when I say I get through this. I'm lying when I say I'm not hurt, and I'm lying when I say I can live without you." And with that, he pushed his lips against mine.

The kiss was sloppy, but it was with Louis and that made it perfect. His lips moved lazily against mine, and I just stood here, taking it all in. I didn't want it to end. So I licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance and he let me. We stood there in the hall for a couple minutes, sucking the air out of each other. I wasn't complaining though. I missed this. And I didn't realize how much I had missed before we pulled away for air.

"Uhm, we should get going." I was surprised by Louis' comment. But I didn't say anything against it.

"Uhm, yeah, you're right."

As we walked over to his car I felt the tension crowing between us, it seemed like something was wrong. But I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Uhm, you know what, Mr. Tomlinson? I think I can walk, I'll be okay." I gave him a weak smile and his eyes gave me an expression I just couldn't read. I turned around and started to walk, and I have to be honest; I did regret a little, because I've been walking for five minutes and my whole outfit is soaking.

I plugged my earphones in my ears and turned on the music. And as I walked I could swear it was Louis' voice filling my ears. I don't even know where I found the song, but I loved it. I looked up and started to walk faster and raise my voice as I sang along with the song.

_Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me _  
_But bear this in mind, _  
_it was meant to be _  
_And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks, _  
_And it all makes sense to me_

My and Louis' hands fit best together. They're supposed to be together. It's me and him. No one else is going to have him.

_I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes _  
_When you smile, _  
_You've never loved _  
_Your stomach or your thighs _  
_The dimples in your back _  
_At the bottom of your spine _  
_But I'll love them endlessly_

Neither me nor Louis liked our own bodies, but we loved the other boys'. I guess it was weird, cause we couldn't watch ourselves in the mirror, but looking at the other one was perfectly fine.

_I won't let these little things _  
_Slip out of my mouth _  
_But if I do, it's you _  
_Oh it's you, they add up to _  
_I'm in love with you _  
_And all these little things_

It's true I did fall in love with Louis.

_You can't go to bed, without a cup of tea _  
_And maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep _  
_And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep _  
_Though it makes no sense to me_

_Oh Louis. Louis with his tea before bed. And him sleeping, that his honestly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen._  
_I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape _  
_You never want to know how much you weigh _  
_You still have to squeeze into your jeans _  
_But you're perfect to me._

I never liked when Louis recorded us singing or filming us being random, but he did make me feel loved, even with the body I've got.

_I won't let these little things _  
_Slip out of my mouth _  
_But if it's true, it's you _  
_It's you, they add up to _  
_I'm in love with you _  
_And all these little things_

It's true I am in love with Louis.

_You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you _  
_And you'll never treat yourself right _  
_Darlin' but I want you to _  
_If I let you know I'm here for you _  
_Maybe you'll love yourself _  
_Like I love you _  
_Oh_

Fuck you, Louis. This is how you made me feel. Fuck you, Louis.

_And I've just let these little things, slip out of my mouth _  
_Cause it's you _  
_Oh it's you, it's you _  
_They add up to _  
_And I'm in love with you _  
_And all these little things_

I love Louis.

_I won't let these little things _  
_Slip out of my mouth _  
_But if it's true _  
_It's you, it's you _  
_They add up to _  
_I'm in love with you _  
_And all your little things_

And I need him, and all his little mistakes. Including me.


	15. Chapter 15

As I walked in the door I was met by my mom's stare and my sister's smile. I unplugged my earphones and looked from my mom to Gemma, trying to hide the smile that was growing on my face.

"GEMMA. You're here. What happened to Uni?" She smiled and dragged me in for a hug.

"I decided to visit my favorite brother for the weekend." I smiled and pulled her tighter again.

"I've missed you." She pulled herself out of the hug and smiled at me.

"I've missed you too, little bro. Now tell me, who is this teacher mom's talking about?" My smile fell as I thought of Louis.

"Uhm, we kind of, ended it? I guess you can say that." Her smile faded away and she took my hand and dragged me up the stairs into my room.

"Harry, please. What did he do? I know you, and I know how you would look after a break-up. But this isn't a break up, is it? He did something." At that point I couldn't stop myself, I cried, no, not crying. I was screaming. Every feeling I'd held hidden for such a long time I let go, all on poor little Gemma, but she didn't mind. She just rubbed my back and let me take my time.

She'd seen all the text. She knows all about the phone calls. She knows about his comfort. But again, she also knows about his betray.

And that's how she'd ended up with sitting on top of me, holding me down, as she was dialing Louis' number. I was terrified of what she could say or do to him. She'd seen the tears that was forming in my eyes, and she could hear me screaming her name. But at the bottom line, she'd realized, that this wasn't just a crush. I loved him.

"_Hi, this is Louis._"

"Hey, Louis. This is Gemma talking, Harry's sister." There was quiet for a while on the other side.

_"Uhm, hi, Gemma. What can I help you with?_" His voice was obviously shaking, and scared. He knew how Gemma could be.

"I was wondering if you could meet me in the park. I need to talk to you." I could feel myself relax, just basically giving up. There was no way Louis would survive Gemmas talk.

"_Uhm sure. I'll be there in an hour, ok?_" Gemma only gave a sound for confirmation and hung up.

"Gemma. What are you going to talk to him about?" Gemma turned around and smirked at me. This is not ending well.

"My dear little brother. You're way to innocent and stupid." I looked up at her with big eyes.

"What's your plan?" She threw her head back while laughing.

"Oh, Harry. I'm not going to talk to Louis, you are. So chop chop. We have about 50 minutes until you're supposed to be there."

And with that I was pushed into my closet.

* * *

**An hour later.**

I was terrified. What if he hates me? Or just don't want to talk to me? I parked the car and sat there for a while before opening the door to face the reality.

As I walked further and further towards the park, I could feel my guts wanting to just escape through my mouth, but I kept walking until I saw Louis sitting on a bench.

He looked up at me and met my eyes. I couldn't really figure his eyes out. They seemed hurt and happy at the same time. Oh, and don't forget the confusion.

"Harry…"

I nodded and walked closer to him, leaving two meters between us. He gave me a small smile before opening his mouth again.

"Before you say anything, Louis. I want you to understand something." He nodded slowly as he closed his mouth again. I sat down beside him and gave him a weak smile.

"Over the last months, I've tried everything in my power to forget you. I've stopped wearing clothes I used to wear around you. I've changed my attitude, wanting the Harry you liked to go away. I got new friends, and keep my schedule busy all the time. But in the end of the day, I'm just me. And you're you, Louis. You're the first thing that comes to my mind in the morning, and you're the last thing I think of before I go to bed. You keep appearing in classes or on the bus. Everything reminds me of you." I looked up at him, his eyes were matching mine; watery. So I took a deep breath an continued.

"The thing is that I didn't throw the clothes away, I just hid them. I don't want to be the person I'm at school; I'm the boy you liked when I get out of that building. The weak little Harry that cries for nothing. My friends drag me around, but let's face it; they're still the people who ruined my life. I just can't get myself to delete our texts, or forget about the phone calls we've had."

I gave him another look, only to be met by a face filled with tearstains down the cheeks.

"I can't stop thinking about you, Louis."

But I didn't need to say anything else, because at that point he crashed his lips in mine and pulled me up on his lap. I didn't refuse. This was what I wanted and what I'd always wanted. I put my arms around his neck and he tightens his grip around my waist and I smiled against his lips.

It wasn't until his phone vibrated that we pulled away, both out of breath. He looked down at the screen and smirked.

"Something tells me you forgot your phone at home and that your sister wants a hold of us." He turned his phone around for me to see my own name light up. I let out a little laugh before declining the phone call.

Louis smiled at me and entwined one of our hands together. I smiled and put up the camera on his phone again. He smiled and we started taking random pictures. But the best one, was where Louis kissed me right on the lips, and you can see the love in the picture. I smiled and sent it to myself.

"Ey, sending pictures of us to your sister, is that smart?" My eyes widened and I basically attacked the phone, even though I knew it was too late. And within seconds I got a text back.

"Finally! I'm so happy for you two. But get your ass home, Harry. Mommy not happy."  
I let out a sigh and looked down at the older boy again. He only nodded and pecked my lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Haz." He pecked my lips again. And I blushed.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Boobear." And then I dragged him in for the best kiss I'd ever had, and I guess we didn't stop until Louis got another text from Gemma. We both smiled and kissed one last time.

"I love you, Harry. You know that right?" I nodded and smiled.

"I love you too, Boobear."

**A/N: So, my depression is not over, but I was bored and surprisingly enough, in the mood for writing. And I'm sorry that it sucks and stuff, but at least it's something xx**


	16. Chapter 16

"Louis, it's just a month left of school. What are you going to do when I go to University?"

We were lying on my bed and staring up in the roof, doing abseloutly nothing but to talk and cuddle. Louis turned around and put his hands on my chest and lent his chin on his hand and started with big beautiful eyes up at me.

"I don't know, Harry. But at least we don't need to hide anymore." I smiled weakly at the older boy.

"Yeah, but I'll be five hours away. And you know how hard it is with distant relationships." I saw Louis' eyes fall.

"What if I look for a job near your university?" My eyes widened, mostly out of surprise.

"Louis, I can't make you do that." I said quietly as I sat up.

"Harry, we both know that long distant relationships don't really work." He smiled and crawled on top of my lap and put his arms around my neck.

"And I really want to be with you." I smiled at him and put my hands on his waist.

"I love you, Louis." He blushed deeply and pulled me in for a kiss, which I happily returned.

As the kiss developed into a hardcore make out session I felt Louis' hands starting to glide under my t-shirt. I smirked before leaving Louis' lips only to kiss his neck. I felt shivers run down my spine as Louis let a soft moan leave his lips. I grabbed his waist and pulled his t-shirt over his  
head.

"Looking good, Louis." I started kissing down his neck until my lips hit his nipple. I bit down teasingly and sucked lightly. I heard a moan escaped Louis' fluffy and swollen lips. I smirked and took his other nipple with my fingers and played with it.

I felt Louis' hands dragged themselves down to my jeans. I let out a little moan as he unzipped my jeans and threw them on the other side of the room. He wrapped his legs around me and pulled me closer to him. I laughed a little before letting go of his nipples and kissed him firmly on the lips.

"You know I love you, right?" I whispered low onto his lips. He smirked and kissed me again as an answer to my statement.

I felt his hand stroke over my erection and I let a small moaned slip out of my lips. Louis smirked and started to kiss my neck lightly before sucking and biting, leaving small love bites.

"Louiiis." I let a small groan escape my lips as Louis pulled of my boxers and the cold air hit the bulge I'd been keeping in my pants for so long.

"Yes, love?" I let out a small moan at the deepness and seducing tone in his voice.

"Will you make love to me?" I could hear his voice hitch and his breathing stopping for a couple of seconds before leaning in next to my ear.

"Are you sure you're ready?" I turned around and pressed my lips onto his.

"No, but I need it." I pressed another kiss on his lips. "I need you, Louis."

And with that my hands unbuttoned his jeans and made sure to rub his bulge with my leg, and it seemed to work, because not long after, he was lying on top of me with his teeth sunk in my neck and his jeans on the other side of the room.

"Don't tease me, Harry." I let a small laugh through my lips and smiled.

"That's unfair, Boo. You tease me all the time." His head looked up and he crashed his lips into mine again.

"How the hell do I tease you, Haz?" I pressed my lips against his again, ending in a small make out scene.

"By being you." I felt myself looking away at the words leaving my red lips. I'd meant those words as a thought, not something for him to hear. "Uhm, never mind that."

"Harry Edward Styles." I got flipped over and suddenly I was lying on top of him in his strong grip, and I couldn't help but to feel protected and very comfortable. I raised my head and pressed my lips on his and blushed.

"I love you, Harry." I felt my cheek turn into the deepest red there existed and I leaned my head on his chest. "Please, let me show it to you."

I only nodded against his chest, before I felt him whispering small commands into my ear, and I obeyed.

"Get on all four, Harry." I pulled myself off of him and got on my knees, waiting for the pain. But that's not what happened. Far from it. Louis went over to his bag and pulled out some lube and covered his fingers with it.

"I'm going to finger you, and I promise to be gentle, okay?" I let out a small moan as his first finger was pushed inside of me. He let me adjust to it before he started to pull it out, and thrust it back in again.

"Oh god." I let out a small scream as he added the second finger and began thrusting it into me without letting me adjust.

"Louis." I let out a mix of screams, whimps and moans as he added the third finger, this time he let me adjust again though, and I have to say I was thankful for that.

"Louis, I'm ready, please." He pulled his finger out and lined himself up by my entrance. I let out a small cry as he pushed himself in me, and he seemed to notice. He pushed all the way in, waiting for me to adjust before he leaned forwards and kissed my neck, trying to distract me from the pain.

"Just tell me to stop if it hurts too much, okay?" I nodded and let out a moan as he pulled out and thrust right back in again. I felt tears run down my cheeks as my brain and body were debating if it was pain or pleasure that was most felt.

He seemed to notice my discomfort and hurting, because he took my fingers entwined them with his own. Another wave of relaxation flushed over me.

"Louis, faster." And he did not need to be told twice. His thrust got harder and faster and pain was replaced with pleasure. His grip around my hands was tighter. My moans were louder and his kisses were softer.

"Louiiiis." I let out a scream and his lips turned into a smile on my neck as he knew he'd hit the spot.

"Harry" I tighten my grip on his hands even more, as if that was possible.

"Louis, I can't hold myself much longer." It was meant as a sentence but the most sounds that came out of my mouth were moans and groans.

His thrusts were faster and harder as the words had slipped my mouth.

"Then you're not alone." His rough voice whispered on my neck and shivers went down my neck.

And then I came as I scream the elder boy's name out, with him filling me up right after, screaming my name.

He collapsed on top of me and we both breathed heavily, trying to catch our breaths.

"I love you, Louis. And thanks for making my first time something spesical." Louis' eyes widened, rolled off of me and looked at me.

"This was your first time?" He stared at me with panicking eyes. "I'm sorry, I should've made it perfect for you."

I turned around and looked him straight into his eyes, trying to calm him down without using words.

"It was perfect, Lou," I put my head on his chest and smiled at him. "because it was with you."

Louis' panicked eyes calmed down and he wrapped his arms around me. Protecting.

"I love you, Harry. And I always will."

**A/N: I am SO sorry it took me so long to update. This is the last chapter before the epilogue and I just want to say a massive thank you to all my fans (See what I did there? ...ok needalife). Reviews please? **

**Cyoneh xx**


	17. Epilogue

"I'm scared, Lou." My voice was shaking and the teacher's grip tightened around me.

"You'll be okay, Harry. It's just a graduation. I'll be sitting with the other teachers and I'm not leaving you." I smiled weakly and let out a heavy breath.

"I know, I'm not scared of graduation. I'm scared of what comes after." I turned my head away, not letting Louis make eye contact with me. I felt him loosen his grip and scoop my head in his hand before kissing me lightly.

"We'll be okay. Now get up there and finish school." I smiled and ran up on stage and sat down on one of the chairs. As the headmaster started talking I started my search for Louis, and the rest of my family in the crowd. I saw my family sitting on first row and I smiled at them. They kindly returned the smile and waved at me.

After ten long minutes with speaking, the headmaster was finally done and I still saw nothing of Louis. I let out a sigh and watched at more and more people stood up to get their diplomas. I looked to the ground as the teacher who was giving them out walked up.

"First we start with the top A students, for an extra diploma." I looked up staring directly at Mr. Tomlinson as he received the diplomas from the secretary. He started with the students who had their after names starting with a. As the list shortened I felt my name crawling up the list.

"And lastly, Harry Styles." I quickly stood up and walked over to Mr. Tomlinson, shaking his hand and accepting the diploma before saying thank you and sitting down again, receiving some happy tears from mom and Louis.

As the hours went by I got up and got my graduation diploma and I was applauded along with the rest of the class. I smiled weakly as I walked down from the stage and got attacked with hugs by my mom.

"I'm so proud of you, Harry!" She hugged me tight again and I felt her tears dripping down the crock of my neck. I pulled her closer to me and smiled. "I love you, mom."

She slowly let go of me and we started to walk out towards the door. "I know you wanted to go out tonight, but we decided to have a family dinner instead, the whole family is there." My mom smiled at me and I nodded slowly. I honestly didn't care; it was just food in my eyes.

As she started the car and started to drive, Gemma kept on going on how proud she was of me. I laughed a little with her and we started talking about something totally irrelevant. And as the minutes flew by, I didn't notice we were home until mom shut the door after her.

I quickly opened the door and followed after her as a puppy.

"Hey, Harry. Why are you so sad?" I looked up, looking at Gemma who had stopped behind me. I gave her a weak smile.

"I didn't see Louis before we left." She hurried up to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sure you'll see him soon. And it's not like he could've made a scene with you." I nodded and walked towards the door my mom had rushed into minutes earlier.

"Okay, let's go get this party started." I grabbed Gemmas hand and dragged her to the door, making her open it for me.

I stepped inside and got attacked with family and close friends congratulating me. I smiled thanked them and kept on.

It'd been a couple of hours and I was bored and tired as fuck. I didn't even bother to talk to anyone. I'd just changed into something less formal and I was staring at the roof when there was a knock on my door. I let out a heavy sigh and told them to come in.

"Babe, you're missing your own party." I jumped up and attacked the guy standing in the doorway.

"LOUEEEEH, you made it." I pressed my lips against his and pulled him as close as possible as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"How could I miss my boyfriend's graduation party?" I smiled against his lips and kissed him once more.

"Thank you, Louis." He wrapped his arms tighter around me and smiled at me before pecking my lips.

* * *

"Harreh!" I looked up from my math book and stared at the door in the classroom, with everyone else.

"Louis!" I quickly got up and ran into his arms and hugged him tight. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to surprise you." I smiled widely and pecked his lips. We turned around as the whole class stared at us and a cough filled the room. I blushed lightly and pulled myself from Louis.

"Sorry miss." The teacher stared at me with warm and eyes.

"It's okay, Styles. Why don't you sit down again so we can finish the lesson? And you can just take a chair and sit beside Styles." She looked at Louis while I nodded and grabbed Louis' hand, pulling him over to my seat.

"I've missed you." He smiled at me and entwined our hands and stared at me until the bell rung.

As I packed my stuff, my hand didn't leave his once. We walked out of the University and sat by a little café right outside of campus.

"How's it going with University?" I smiled at him as we got our cups of tea and sat down in the corner of the café.

"It's working. I'm just happy it's my last year." I felt Louis' grip around my fingers tighten before he let it go and dropped his gaze to the ground.

"Harry, we need to talk." I stared at him with big eyes.

"So that's why you came over? You're breaking up with me?" He looked up at me and I felt my eyes water. He shook his head slowly.

"No, Harry. That's not why I'm here." He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a little black box before he got down on one knee.

"Will you, Harry Edward Styles, marry me?" I put a hand over my mouth and let out a shaky breath before I wrapped my arms around him again.

"Never scare me like that, ever again. And yes, of course." We stood up and he kissed me softly on my lips. "I love you, Harry."

"I love you too, Louis."

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror and tried not to cry. I saw Liam, Niall and Zayn walking in the door. I smiled weakly at them as they stepped closer.

"You ready, mate?" I smiled at Liam and nodded slowly.

"I think I am." I turned around and hugged them all at the same time. They smiled and I'm pretty sure I could hear Niall crying. I pulled them closer one more time before we let go and walked out of the changing room and up to the priest.

Not long after I saw Louis walking up the aisle I smiled widely and I felt myself at the edge of crying, but I shook it of me as Jay gave Louis' hand to me. I took it and let him up in front of the priest.

"We are gathered here today to put together two wonderful young men. Louis William Tomlinson and Harry Edward Styles." I locked my eyes with his and smiled widely while I mouthed 'You look beautiful.' to him. He blushed slightly before he mouthed 'You too'.

We didn't really follow as the preist started to talk about how much we loved each other and how much everyone was proud. We didn't even really listen to each others vows, cause we'd practiced to each other so many times before.

"Louis William Tomlinson, do you take Harry Edwards Styles to be yours forever and never leave him?" I heard Louis giggle at the sudden change of words, to my defence; it was Zayn's idea.

"I do."

"Harry Edwards Styles, do you take Louis William Tomlinson by your side through thick and thin and rock him so hard he won't remember his name?" My eyes widened before they found Zayns face. He was literally biting his own lip so hard you could see the blood, to not start laughing.

"I do."

At this point no one could hold their laughers and the whole church started laughing hysterical, even the priest. I pulled Louis in for a tight hug and pressed my forehead against his.

"I love you."

* * *

"Daddy! Dad! Wake up!" I growled and dragged myself from Louis' grip and stared at the little girl jumping up and down on the side of the bed.

"Darcy, it's like five in the morning, go to sleep." I laughed at Louis' rough morning voice before I climbed out of bed and picked up the little five years old.

"What do you want, love?" She smiled big and wrapped her small hands around my neck and dug her face down in the crook of my neck.

"It's the first day of school next week, and I'm scared." I smiled at her before I crawled back into bed, lying her between me and Louis.

"You'll be fine Darcy. Louis and I will be there and we know you'll get loads of friends." I smiled at her and she nodded as she wrapped her arms around the sleeping Louis.

"Thanks dad." And with that she fell asleep, with me following just minutes later.

When I woke up a week later it was Louis who was covering my face with light kisses. I smiled and dragged him on top of me as I giggled as a school girl.

"As much I'd love to stay like this, we have a daughter downstairs waiting for breakfast. And we both know my cooking skills aren't anything to be bragging about." I smiled and pecked his lips before standing up and getting dressed.

"I'll be right down, babe." Louis nodded and walked out of our shared bedroom and I heard him say something funny to Darcy making her laugh.

I took a deep breath and went downstairs and started making breakfast and lunch for Darcy. I smiled at her as she dug in her meal and ran off to pack her last things for school. I turned around to look at Louis who was sipping on his tea. He gave me a weak smile as I started cleaning up.

"Haz, you've been staring at nothing for ten minutes now, we have to go."

My eyes met Louis' worried ones and I gave him a weak smile before heanding over to Darcy, picking her up and walking towards the car.

Not much later we all were on our way to the school, Darcy in the back talking about how exited she was, Louis focusing on the road and me staring out the window, trying to hold back the tears.

As we got to the school I felt Louis grab one of my hands and entwining our fingers and Darcy grabbing the other one. I smiled weakly and let out a small laugh, swallowing the tears that was threating to escape my eyes.

We walked into the classroom and we felt everyone staring at us, eyes going from our faces to our entwined hands. I looked down shyly before stepping out of the classroom and hurrying towards the bathroom. Louis on the other hand started talking to some of the other parents, making friends.

It'd been half an hour when Louis had found me in the bathroom sitting on the floor crying. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed away the tears. I pulled him as close as possible and started mumbling how much I loved him. He replied me with a what's-wrong-look.

"I'm sorry, Lou." I saw his eyes widen and his grip loosen.

"Why are you apologizing?" He stared at me with hurt eyes and I felt my heart break just a little more.

"I have cancer, Louis."

**A/N: So, should I do a sequal? Just tell me what you think and yeah. Thank you so much for being reading.**

**~Cyoneh xx**


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